singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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