Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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