She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
