I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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