Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
