I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
