i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
