Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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