Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
