I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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