No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
