she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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