i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
