but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
