I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
