craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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