I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
