Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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