I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think I am morally bankrupt
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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