i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
