Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
