you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
