My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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