just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
