Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
