I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I am one with the molecules
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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