i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
