Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
