All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
