i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
