My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
