My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
