it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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