It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
