So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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