in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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