Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize