And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
