I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
