wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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