So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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