I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
