I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
