Already got asked if we're dating
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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