Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize