the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
