i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
