I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
