It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize