Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
