Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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