Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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