Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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