these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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