saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
