she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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