hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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