there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
