9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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