One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
