hell yes lets make some ravioli
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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