Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
